Thursday, February 5, 2015

Mum's Eulogies

Our mum was a wonderful mum who was loving, strong willed, resilient, young at heart, compassionate and had a quirky sense of humour to the last. She didn't mind speaking her mind as well on many occasions. She was a loyal friend to many, with some of her friendships spanning many decades. Our mum was 101 years old.

Mum was born in Sydney in 1913.

Her childhood was spent at Mt. Nelson inTasmania, in a poor, but happy home, with some periods of time spent in Melbourne. She lived in a tramcar with her extended family, and on many occasions had to walk to school in the snow. She enjoyed a wonderful social life with her many friends and cousins, playing tennis, going dancing, and simply making her own fun.

She was married to Fred Norris in 1935, and although the marriage ended in divorce, she gave birth to her first two beloved children , Lynette and John.

She returned to Melbourne to make it her home, and met and married our Dad, Ted, with whom she had three awesome daughters, Bronwen, Anne and. Kath. Ted had two daughters for. His previous marriage. So she became a step mum to Gwynneth and Marjory, with whom she developed close relationships.

Mum and Dad were happily married until he passed away in 1972.

Together, with their family, they enjoyed many camping holidays interstate, Sunday afternoon drives and visits with friends and relatives. Our annual picnic to Long Island at Frankston was enjoyed by the whole extended family each Australia Day holiday.

As mum had been experienced with kindergarten work, and as there were none in the immediate vicinity, with her usual tenacity, she decided to start one herself. Because the housing commission would only allow her to cater for 15 children, she and dad purchased their home, so they could welcome more children.

This was one of Mum's greatest achievements, owning her own home. She worked hard to make this a reality, using a small inheritance for the deposit. She enjoyed the gardening whilst dad enjoyed the cooking.

When she volunteered to help in the school canteen, all us kids got an extra lolly in our bag

Mum had a lifelong love of tennis, playing until she was 80, when her knees let her down. Not to be outdone, she began a keep fit class at her church.

Mum was a widow for 52 years. In that time she travelled as widely and as often as she could. Her big trip overseas lasted for five months, taking in England, the Continent, and South Africa. She was welcomed by several of pen friends with whom she had corresponded for many years. She always went "back home" to Tasmania on an annual basis, often staying for six weeks at a time. She spent many happy times with cousin Win and Doug at their beach shack, fishing and playing many games of Rummy Royale. She travelled to many places in Australia, often taking a daughter nor grand daughter with her.

She joined with any of the family who were traveling when she was invited, happily taking part in all the holiday activities, whether it was swimming in warm pools, or lying down on a railway track waiting for a train. She was delighted to be invited to Murwillumbah to spend time with John and Jan and their family . There were many happy times spent at Lyne and Ron's beach house at Sandy Point.

The original "girls weekend" was instigated by Mum, she loved those special times when she and her four daughters would spend two or three days together enjoying each other's company. Mum loved being with her family, it was important to her, as she had been an only child. I can remember her at Diane's 30th birthday celebration, just looking around, and saying how happy she was that all her family got on well together. She joined in that all the family were doing, including enjoying our swimming pools and spa pools. Many weekends were enjoyed in the homes of Bronwen and Frank, Anne and Philip, and Kath and Kwong. If she was invited to go anywhere, she would never say no, until the last couple of years, when big crowds were just too much to cope with. In particular, she would never, never, never say no to going out for a cuppacino.

Her love of family was not always expressed by words but mostly by actions.
The many, many bed socks and jumpers knitted for her grand children, the coat hangers, the hand towels, the flannels embroidered with our initials on them. She was always helpful when she visited any of us, and always willing to do anything we asked of her, usually with a word of advice on how to it better or more efficiently.

Mum was a Christian and when she was about seventy years of age, she was baptized at her local church, a public acknowledgement that she accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour. She was involved in the life of the church for many years , serving on the board of management at one stage. In later years, she was content with reading her bible, watching songs of praise on TV, and going to church at special times like Christmas and Easter.

Losing two of her beloved daughters, Anne and Lynette brought her much grief, but her faith in God gave her strength and comforted her.

Until she was 97, Mum was still hopping on the bus each day to go to Chaddy for her daily cuppacino.

She was living in her own home until she was 100 years old - quite an achievement- but eventually decided to have more care , so Oak Towers was carefully selected after much consideration. Mum fitted in well and loved the outings, concerts and conversations. She was even advising some of the staff as to what they should do with their lives! As a family we were very happy with her being there, she was having good pastoral care, and was in very safe hands. In the fourteen months that Mum was there she was much loved by many and will be sadly missed.

During her time at Oak Towers, she still enjoyed lunching at the pancake parlour, eating scones with jam and cream, raisin toast, and of course, cuppacino. She continued to enjoy holidays with the family. This year we had a weekend away at Echuca, achieving her ambition of a houseboat trip. She liked live theatre, and the last show she attended was the musical "The King and I" a couple of months ago.

Mum was always concerned for those who were less fortunate than herself and supported several charities throughout her life, as well as continually knitting garments for children's homes both here and in India. Her benevolence is reflected in her request for no flowers today.

Mum has left a huge legacy , not only of a large loving family, but also of faith, courage, strength, determination, and compassion for others less fortunate than herself.

She will be remembered with love and thankfulness.





Phyl Jones....eulogy by Yvonne Lowe


Phyl became a resident at Oak Towers Aged Care Facility, where I have been a chaplain, on October 10th, 2013.
She wasn't just 100 on entry to Oak Towers. Phyl let me know proudly she was 100 plus the 5 or 6 months, not quite our oldest resident at that stage, but certainly was one of the fittest and most mobile of our residents. She was an amazing lady with a wheelie frame. She could beat most of us through the corridors down to reception.
She was able to claim that important title as eldest resident for some months this year.
Phyl's age and mobility were legendary. But what I love best are her reflections about life.

How would YOU describe life? Ups and downs? Like a roller coaster?

I knew Phyl from her Chadstone Church of Christ days. Church was important to her: she loved her church community and they loved and appreciated her. Church life in its many aspects of faith, home group, rosters, responsibilities and friendships gave her strength and an out of this world courage to face the world. Life had not been easy for Phyl.

Back in 1988 we talked about life. She described life in terms of the sky as she looked out of the window. " Life is patchy, like the clouds of the sky"

In October 2013, I was delighted to renew our friendship . She was still the independent thinker I knew, still with questions. There was one question that stumped our chaplain interns at Oak Towers.......who would Adam and Eve's children have married ?

Phyl realized her need to move out of her much loved home on Waverley Road, so close to her church, but life was never the same. She loved her family and appreciated their ongoing support and time staying and visiting with them. She also loved her scrabble and card games with family and volunteers.

There were times she struggled. There were some mornings Phyl would call into the Reflection room. She knew she would generally find one of the chaplains or interns close by . She would say...I just like to sit with you and look out to the courtyard.

One morning I reminded her of how she used to see life. She nodded. She remembered . The following morning she returned with some special thoughts.

"Sometimes I wonder where God is and what He is doing and if He is there at all. It is a bit like the sun. So often you can't see the sun. It's behind the clouds, but it is there all the time . You just have to wait and trust, whatever is happening in your life. Eventually the clouds pass.
The sun is like God, always there , I know deep down God is always there for me, but some times the clouds are pretty thick."

I think Phyl would like me to read you a verse of one of her favorite hymns...

"Jesus loves me, this I know,
For the bible tells me so,
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak,but he is strong"






The following words and memories are a collection from Nana’s grand and great grandchildren. We asked little Knox (great, great grandchild) for his thoughts, but unfortunately got nothing…

Pantomime at Chadstone, donuts afterwards
Scones – with jam and cream of course
Rice pudding – say no more
Frogs in ponds – still a favourite, even today
Games in the front yard
Teaching us how to knit
Family
Fish pond in the back yard
Brushing her hair when it was long – we would sit behind her chair and get out of going to bed
Sleep overs in school holidays – what happened at Nana’s, stayed at Nana’s.
Trips to Tassie and Perth
Scrabble and Rumicube – we are all convinced she cheated
Still playing Tennis in her 80s
The privilege of sweeping tennis courts between games
Bozo – what a fabulous companion he was
Hand knitted coat hangers – and yes, we have pilfered them all
Santa
Being looked after in the kinder she used to run
Family
Mince for lunch
Devonshire teas
Being locked out of the house for watching too much tv
A prolific reader
Brooches
Life stories – open and willing to share through the generations
Bus trips
Chadstone – its too big now!
Christmas parties at 119 Waverley Rd
Ongoing Christmas parties shared around family members
Pedestrian lights – we would push the button and always get in trouble because we weren’t crossing the road
Great role model
Family
Caring
Chaddie for milksakes / coffee
Demonstration of faith in God
Going through the entire list of kids and grand kids when introducing you before getting to the right name!
Church
Fighting over the walking stick
Card tricks
Travel
Quirky sense of humour and fun
Forever knitting – knee rugs for the old “bitties”
Welcoming
Generous
Strawberry quick which was out of date but still tasted yum
Playing games on the coloured tiles in kitchen
Short stack pancake with ice cream at the Pancake Parlour
Puffing Billy

Family
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.

We love and will miss you. Thank you for your legacy. You have shown us all how important family is and we are proud to honour your legacy.

Safe in the arms of God

And finally, from Nana…
Weep not for me, but courage take, and love each other, for my sake.





"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies ; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. ". John 11:25-26

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5/2/15

    What heart touching special memories you all hold. I remember meeting your mum, though only once, with a cappuccino ( and pie) involved. I marveled then at her independence and even moreso now having read the eulogies. How blessed you all are to have had her in your lives and I know you all walk with pride from this. xx

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